Friday Morning Monologue

Rough weather in a lot of the country. Ice storms in the Northeast, cold snap in the Midwest. In fact, it was so cold in Chicago, Gov. Blagojevich actually had his hands in his own pockets. Over 300,000 people lost power in the Northeast after ice storms knocked the power out. Hard times here in Flawda too — it almost dipped under 75 degrees today. The weather was so bad in Washington, people were throwing snow shoes at President Bush. They're finding out a lot about the guy who threw the shoes at President Bush. He's reported to be a hothead with poor journalistic skills. No surprise — today he was offered his own show on Fox News. Dubya says he's actually happy about the incident. He says it just proves Iraq has footwear of mass destruction. The President told reporters that the shoe-throwing incident was one of the weirdest moments of his presidency. D ubya said the only thing weirder was the time he got re-elected. I was amazed at how nimble Dubya was. I know he's got a lot of dodging experience from the Vietnam War, but this was pretty slick. Some people are criticizing the Secret Service because the shoe-thrower caught them offguard, and the man was able to throw a second shoe. A spokesman for the Secret Service said, "Sorry, but we were laughing our asses off." The guy who threw the shoes is now a hero in Iraq. They say he's shown the world that Iraqis have no masters, but I think what he really has shown the world is that Iraqis have no aim. A big surprise in last Sunday's morning news — Sen. John McCain says he may not support Sarah Palin if she's around in 2012. Of course the bigger question is, will McCain be around in 2012? Yesterday, Dick Cheney was interviewed by ABC News and he reflected on his eight years in office. Then he turned into a bat and disappeared in a puff of smoke. The economy is killing me. I just got a new American Express card, and as I'm about to sign it, I see a line that says, "Good through Thursday." A report just out says that the economic downturn is even affecting prostitution. If things get any worse, men may be forced to have sex with their wives. That prostitution joke actually was from the Great Depression in the 1930s. That was the joke that got America back on its feet. Adios ameobas!

Henry Gould, Realty Associates